I know what you're going through?

Hello Blogger! It's been too long! I've been meaning to write a blog about YSU and my classes and how I feel that they're changing me but I'm going to save that for another day. Right now, I need to vent a little about my day.

Last night, I had a dream about my mom. No, I don't even remember what it was about. I just remember waking up in the middle of the night severly pissed off that I didn't have my mom. It didn't make sense. Why isn't she with me? It just isn't fair. I used to hate saying that but I'm coming to believe it again. I don't understand why girls have such great relationships with their moms and I don't have mine? Or girls can't stand their moms and don't want anything to do with them? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What the heck is your problem? That's just a huge pet peeve.

So, like I said, I woke up in a bad mood. I posted on Facebook how I was feeling - big mistake. I love my friends and family dearly, I do. But sometimes, I just get tired of hearing the same thing. I've heard it for the past ten years. "Your parents are so proud of you. They're smiling down on you. You're so strong. You're heading in the right direction." While I agree with them and I'm so blessed to have an amazing support system, I just wonder...what if I didn't go to school? Would you still be proud? What if I continued to self-injure? Would you still think I was strong?

Related to my parents, I haven't heard this. But with other problems of mine, I have. And I hate it. "I know what you're going through, I understand." NO. You don't. You don't know what a person is going through. Sure, you've been in the same circumstance but you don't know all of the details to know how that person is feeling.

Whew. I feel like I was really harsh. I don't know who all will read this, if anyone will at that. This wasn't mean to hurt any feelings. Just some thoughts that I couldn't express anywhere else.

After having my mom on my mind ALL day, I ended my night by going to Pittsburgh with ladies from my church. An amazing group of people. I love them all so dearly, they're awesome!! We went to the Consol Energy Center to see Joel Osteen. He was incredible. I've seen him on television but I've never actually watched him. I regret that so much! I will definitely be watching him on Sunday mornings from now on. He had me in tears when he was talking about his father passing away and then he shared a touching story of 9/11 that just sent chills up and down my spine. He really said what I needed to hear. And I thank God for that.

With this, I will just keep on keeping my faith and hope that things continue to brighten up!!